An infinity pool of activity
Quelling anxiety
Fleeting peace
My mind is both a problem solving machine
And the creator of to dos
If I can’t solve one I can solve some
And the control feels good, but still weighs a ton
Momentary relief settles before I grab again for the pen and articulate
My need to order
Strategize
Then I can get to work
I’ll be ready with more preparation
Tasks birth an ouroboros of success and defeat
Farther away the more boxes I check
Days merge to weeks of scribbled stationary with dates and deadlines
Delay and procrastinate and click/drag to tomorrow
So I can reinforce the subconscious to believe this is how it will always be
Told myself I work better with my back against the wall
Or maybe that’s the fear talking
Maybe today I’ll make a different list
Of all the things I’m grateful for
The things I’ll surrender
The ways to embody
Be in my body
Things to be
Not to do
Loving, kind, generous, light, present
Mostly reminders of who I am
Instead of not
Brandon Perkins 