Going through this second round of True and False Magic (by Phil Stutz).
It’s the good kind of déjà vu.
Reminders that patience wins.
That acceptance of life’s pain, uncertainty, and need for constant work produces progress in the direction of real living.
Steadiness can merge with action and to unroot the truth behind the fear.
Fear.
It always comes back to fear for me.
What might not happen? How will I _______? How can I prepare?
As if getting what I think I want will insulate me from any future grief.
And maybe that’s what I most avoid feeling.
Getting lucky and not being able to sustain.
Not being able to reproduce the success, the high, the love.
But nothing stays the same.
And it doesn’t have to.
Because nothing ever really dies or goes away.
All is a transfer of energy.
A metamorphosis.
We just want it now.
We want to see and taste it before we risk and fail.
Insurance.
But what good is faith if everything is revealed at once.
God is playing hide and seek. Not as a cruel manipulative game.
But in participation with us.
To remind me not to take it all so seriously.
Brandon Perkins 